Making Peace With Yourself

I often consume content about beauty, and I also produce some through my blog because I think that feeling beautiful can be very empowering. As shallow as this thought may be: When I feel beautiful, I feel like life seems brighter. It will not solve all of my issues, but it will not make it worse, right?

Although I believe that our generation has a weird obsession with looking perfect, I can’t help myself falling into the trap of seeking ‘that girl (that has it all)’ myth all these brands are selling us.

Like many women, I struggle with my appearance at times.

My aim is to strike a balance between not obsessing over my looks but still having interest in beauty and fashion.

Today I’d like to share my thoughts and things I’ve done to accept myself despite my flaws and change my perspective on beauty (for the best).

What would your daughter think?

I believe that our words hold power. The power to create and the power to destroy.

I don’t know if I will ever be lucky enough to have a baby, but if this dream comes true and I happen to have a daughter, I would want her to know her worth. I am sure that she will have many qualities, much more important than being beautiful, but I’m certain that she will also be beautiful.

It must be a strange feeling to look at your baby and see your partner’s eyes or your own smile. If I ever see my ‘flaws’ on her, I would never think of them as flows. Never.

What I am trying to say is that we tend to focus on the negative when it sits on our face. And think about it; she will look just like me (or her dad). Do you imagine her face when she hears me saying out loud, ‘I hate my broad shoulders’? What if she has the same ones?

What message am I sending to her? to my younger sister? to any woman out there?

Like I said, every word has an impact. And thinking about my potential future daughter helps me:

Be kinder to myself. After all, I was a little girl once too.
Think more about the space and the importance I give to beauty in my life. Perhaps there are worst things than not looking like a supermodel?
Help people around me feel like they are enough.

Again, don’t take me wrong; I love makeup and everything revolving around it, but I just don’t believe in mindlessly looking for perfection no matter the cost.

Enhance

When I was 17-18 years old, heavy makeup looks and full faces were THE trend. But since then, I got older and wiser. My intention is not to shame you if you’re a full-face girly but more to share how changing my relationship to makeup made me feel better about myself.

So, I used to love heavy makeup, to the point where I would feel so down once I saw myself without it—staring at my acne, eye bags, and every single flaw possible.

And one day, I decided to stop wearing makeup. Completely! This lasted for a while, and I since then learned to enhance my favorite features rather than hide the ones I didn’t! Playing up those eyes and filling up the eyebrows.

There is a lot of comfort in feeling good enough in your skin to show up AS YOU ARE while enhancing what you already love about yourself.

Show or cover, up to you!

Paradoxically, I feel like our generation loves to be exposed and share intimate things about ourselves. Let it be clothing, thoughts, or appearance in general. And I’m no exception; I believe that there are a lot of benefits to sharing our insecurities with others.

But for a long time, I thought that being confident was to ‘own it’ and show the world everything about me, only then would I truly love myself.

To be honest, I do believe that this mindset empowered me a lot as a teen. I felt like no one could attack me or say something hurtful if I showed them that I was confident. But I don’t think I was truly myself.

I loved that for me at the time, but I now feel a little bit more on the quiet and modest confidence, if I can say.

I feel better covered, and I prefer keeping certain things to myself. It’s funny though because I actually feel the most confident I have ever been. It might not show as much, but I feel content and happy with myself, more than ever before.

So whether you prefer putting your flaws in the spotlight or being more reserved, my message for you is that there is not one way or a right way to be confident. Get to know yourself better and embrace who you are.

Healthy and honest relationships with other women

I could spend hours talking about womanhood. What a blessing. There is so much comfort and beauty in having healthy relationships with other women, no matter how young or how old. We have so much to learn from one another. But what does that have to do with beauty?

Well, I believe that seeing other women living their feminity (or not), exchanging about our struggles, and seeing the best in others can drastically change the way we perceive ourselves.

When I talk with another woman and exchange about womanhood-related experiences, I always feel happier and understood, regardless of how deep or shallow the topic may be.

You don’t owe pretty

Last but not least, You are more than just a pretty woman.

I think we women sometimes need to be reminded that we don’t owe pretty to anyone.

We are much more than that.

Let’s not be hypocrites; we all enjoy looking good, whatever that looks like for you, but I don’t think we should let ourselves be only defined by a few changing social rules and norms.

I’ll conclude this post by saying: HAVE FUN WITH BEAUTY! But don’t let it ruin your life.

Garance